Pursuing quarterbacks is a lot like pursuing love. Sometimes the right person comes along when you least expect it; other times you have to dredge through the Bumble muck of Drew Locks and Sam Darnolds in hopes of finding the one. When you’re in that latter group, nothing is more infuriating than blissfully coupled friends like the Chiefs telling you not to worry because the one who’s meant for you will be along soon. “We felt the same way before finding Patrick,” says the person who has been in a relationship for so long they think Hinge is something you buy at a hardware store.

If there were ever an offseason for QB pursuits, though, this is it. We’ve had a hot quarterback spring, with four high-profile trades, four passers drafted in the first three rounds, and five signed to contract extensions. Nearly a quarter of the league’s teams will have new men at the helm this fall. But that doesn’t mean every situation is settled—in the short or long term. So it’s time once again to take stock of just how committed each team is to its starting QB. Who is single and ready to mingle? Who is ready to propose? Let’s take a look, in order of the most committed to the least.

[Editor’s note: Given the open civil and NFL investigations into Deshaun Watson, we’ve excluded both Watson and the Browns from this list.]


Relationship Goals

Kansas City Chiefs and Patrick Mahomes

Buffalo Bills and Josh Allen

Kansas City and Patrick Mahomes are still the league’s dream couple. The Chiefs gave Mahomes one hell of a ring (almost as big as the one Mahomes got his wife) in the form of a $450 million extension. Unfortunately, that contract was so big that the Chiefs ended up trading receiver Tyreek Hill rather than giving him a new deal, which is like spending so much on the ring you ended up missing a house payment.

The Bills and Josh Allen are also a dream couple, and they might be even more inspiring. They’re the two people everyone made fun of in high school, but then they got ridiculously hot after graduation and now everyone pretends they’ve always loved these two together.


I’ll Change for You

Cincinnati Bengals and Joe Burrow

Burrow is Cincinnati’s knight in shining armor, and he convinced the Bengals that they do deserve love—and that they deserve to spend money in free agency instead of being such cheap bastards. Two decades ago, the Bengals were locking up gatorade after practice and giving players used jockstraps. But Burrow’s magnetic personality and majestic arm brought them to the doorstep of the Super Bowl, and now to protect their protector, they’ve signed Bucs guard Alex Cappa, Cowboys right tackle La’el Collins, and Patriots interior lineman Ted Karras for a combined $21 million guaranteed. Health is wealth, and it’s nice to see the Bengals investing in a relationship—and proving they can have nice things.


Madly in Love

Los Angeles Chargers and Justin Herbert

These two are young and in love. They know they want to be together forever. So why not go for it? Elope in Europe. Backpack across Australia. Sign a bunch of veterans and try to win a Super Bowl. They’ve got Herbert and left tackle Rashawn Slater on cheap rookie contracts. They traded for former Defensive Player of the Year Khalil Mack, and signed former Patriots cornerback J.C. Jackson and Rams defensive tackle Sebastian Joseph-Day. You can almost picture head coach Brandon Staley staring deeply into Herbert’s eyes at sunrise along the California coast and whispering, “This is the time in our lives to do this.”