With less than a week to go until Christmas, time is running out on the opportunity to get away with using threadbare metaphors, similes, and constructs related to the holiday. As such, let's take advantage of the occasion by noting that a number of teams would love to wake up on Christmas morning and find a new star third baseman underneath their proverbial tree.

Anthony Rendon might have signed with the Los Angeles Angels, but a number of compelling candidates remain available for teams looking to make a splash at the hot corner. There's Josh Donaldson, who would cost only money; there's Kris Bryant, once his grievance over service-time manipulation is cleared up; and then there's Nolan Arenado.

For our purposes, Arenado is the player of interest. Although he agreed to a seven-year, $260 million extension last offseason in order to avoid the open market this winter, the Colorado Rockies are evidently willing to move him in the right deal. Arenado is still owed $234 million, but someone should be game for taking on that contract given how productive he's been throughout his career. (For reference, Arenado has a 131 OPS+ and 18.4 WAR since 2017.)

We are nothing if not messy, so below you'll find our guide to the Arenado trade market. Do remember that this is for entertainment purposes, and that these situations tend to be fluid.

On the wrong side of a rebuild

Baltimore Orioles

Detroit Tigers

Kansas City Royals

Seattle Mariners

Miami Marlins

Pittsburgh Pirates

None of these teams are good, or seem particularly compelled to take on a $234-million contract.