Mike Brown may play in Canada but he's all-American. He's also rocking one of if not the finest mustache in the league this season. Brown is now getting some due credit for being both American and mustached (though I prefer mustachioed myself). The American Mustache Institute which apparently is a thing that is real has nominated Brown for its Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American Award. The Oilers forward is one of 10 finalists chosen from among 900 nominees which was “combed through” by the Certified Mustacheology Analysis Unit which apparently is a thing that is also real. Among his competition? Fox News' Geraldo Rivera fictitious Anchorman characters Ron Burgundy (naturally) and Brian Fantana as well as Bryan Harper the older brother of Nationals phenom Bryce Harper whose mustache came to prominence during the MLB All-Star Game's Home Run Derby this year. Here's what the American Mustache Institute whose mission is "Protecting the rights of and fighting discrimination against mustached Americans by promoting the growth care and culture of the mustache" had to say about Brown's candidacy. A Chicago-area native and forward for the Edmonton Oilers Mike Brown's commitment to the sexually dynamic Mustached American lifestyle has continued the deep connectivity between sports excellence and facial hair. One of the few Jewish players in the National Hockey League Mr. Brown continues to exhibit the undeniable performance enhancing powers of the mustache as his career continues to thrive on the ice.
Oilers' Mike Brown up for Mustached American of the Year Award
CBS Sports | Oct 8