According to the Telegraph, Manchester United are “prepared” to offer 19-year-old prospect Angel Gomes £1.5 million in yearly wages (or about £30k weekly) in order to keep him at Old Trafford and away from the clutches of others clubs, including the frequently linked Chelsea. 

Should they be successful, maybe Gomes, who’s rejected at least one offer from United so far, can send us a thank you gift basket for once playing the big-bad role in a transfer story that ends in the player signing a big contract extension after an initial rejection of terms.

That’s not to say that Chelsea wouldn’t take Gomes, a highly rated attacking midfielder, especially as we’d have to pay only a small fee set by a tribunal, which would surely be well below market price.