Gabrielle Union is opening up like never before.

The actress is opening up for the first time about the “hard truth” of her journey to motherhood. In a new essay for Time, she got real candid about the pain she had to endure after her husband Dwyane Wade had a baby with another woman amid her fertility struggles nearly a decade ago, and how welcoming daughter Kaavia James was an emotional experience for both of them.

“It should go without saying that we were not in a good place at the time that child was conceived,” Union wrote of Wade’s son Xavier Zechariah — whom he welcomed with Basketball Wives star Aja Metoyer back in 2013 — while the couple was on a break. “But we were doing much better when he finally told me about the pregnancy. To say I was devastated is to pick a word on a low shelf for convenience.”

She added it took her a long time to discuss it publicly, writing: “There are people — strangers I will never meet — who have been upset that I have not previously talked about that trauma. I have not had words, and even after untold amounts of therapy I am not sure I have them now. But truth matters.”