Inspirational thought of the week:

Oh, yeah
Life is bad
Gloom and misery everywhere
Stormy weather, stormy weather
And I just can get my poor self together
Oh, I'm weary all of the time
The time, so weary all of the time
Stormy weather, stormy weather

-- "Stormy Weather," Etta James

Here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, located in a hidden room behind the cabinet where Marty Smith keeps all of his cornhole awards, we often spend our Novembers locking ourselves into that secret bunker for protection against the foul conditions that roll into the season's final month like a loose tree that kneecaps Jim Cantore during a hurricane live shot.

As we write this, the East Coast is monitoring Tropical Storm Nicole as it rolls through the homeland of the Hometown Lenders Bahamas Bowl with an eye on dumping rain on the games played everywhere from the home of the Boca Raton Bowl to the home of the Myrtle Beach Bowl.

Last weekend saw a bowlful of inclement conditions. Mother Nature tried her best to help Bottom 10 stalwart Northwestern keep up with hoity-toity top-10 resident Ohio State. Boreas Frostheart must be a Notre Dame season-ticket holder because he was blowing Clemson passes around like boomerangs. Meanwhile, Elsa was rehearsing for "Frozen 3" in Missoula, Montana.

Whether ye be soaked, frozen or wind-blown, or your teeth are chattering and knees are knocking from a combination of all the above, just know that this is the price one must pay to play college football in the deep fall. And if your team is on the list that follows, you already know this feeling of misery all too well. Heck, you've felt this way since the season started in August.

With apologies to Al Roker, Oklahoma running back/meteorologist Jaden Knowles, College Football Hall of Famer Jim Weatherall and Steve Harvey, here's the post-Week 10 Bottom 10 rankings.


1. US(notC)F (1-8)

The Bulls lost to then-Bottom 10 member Temple by 26 points and then attached a nitrous bottle to their ride back into this top/bottom spot by firing head coach Jeff Scott. The bad news is USF needs a new head coach. The good news? Well, there is no good news in Tampa, Florida, but there is in this week's Coveted Fifth Spot.


2. UMess (1-8)

The Minutemen lost to the Artists Formerly Known as UCan't in the Game Formerly Known as the Bottom 10 New England Megabowl presented by Stop & Shop. While I know UMass fans have started to wear their Bottom 10 emblem as proudly as they do their old Tom Brady jerseys, they are likely despondent that their team lost that game and somehow moved out of the top/bottom spot.