I love Bruce Bochy.

I love him because I think he’s a good manager who, I think, deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. I love him because a few years ago when I ranked him the ugliest manager in major league baseball he thought it was amusing and — even though it possibly inspired a coronary event — he decided against pounding me into a think pasty goo. I love him because I once saw him at the hotel bar at the Winter Meetings hanging out with some friends and he seemed to be enjoying the hell out of himself, laughing and joking and doing all of the things that suggest he’s living his best life.

But I really, really need Bochy to retire this afternoon, before has has a chance to manage another game, as opposed to sticking to his plan and retiring at season’s end. Why?