It looks like we finally figured out why Peyton Manning retired from football: So he could prepare for Comedy Central's latest roast. The network has announced that Manning will be a roaster for its upcoming special that's set to air on Sept. 5. During the show, Manning and six comedy veterans will get to spend three hours making fun of Rob Lowe. That's right America, we're getting "The Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe," and if past roasts are any indication, there's a 90 percent chance that Manning is going to be using a lot of words that we don't usually get to hear him say. You might want to put the kids to bed before you tune in because there probably won't be a lot of "Omaha" calls during this Manning appearance. There's also a 90 percent chance that Manning mentions Papa John's and/or Budweiser beer.