Former Panthers first-round pick Rae Carruth, months away from his release from prison for conspiring to kill the mother of his son, sent an open letter to the child’s family apologizing for his role in the death of Cherica Adams.

Carruth was arrested in 1999, after he was charged with masterminding a plot to murder Adams. She was shot multiple times and died in the hospital, after giving birth to a son named Chancellor, who now suffers from cerebral palsy.

The boy is cared for by his grandmother Saundra Adams, and Carruth told WBTV that since she hasn’t returned messages he’s tried to relay to her while he’s in prison, he wanted to make his feelings public. He was convicted in 2001 of conspiracy to commit murder, and is schedule for release later this year.

“I feel like if I did it in the open, it would put an end to the lies. If I say publicly, ‘Ms. Adams, I apologize, Ms. Adams, I take responsibility for what happened,’ that she can no longer get on television and do an interview and say Rae has never apologized to me,” Carruth said.

He didn’t go into detail about his own role in the death of Cherica Adams, but took a measure of responsibility.