Alone in the visitors dugout another defeat latched to his ledger R.A. Dickey stared out toward an empty diamond on Wednesday night. His team’s season is lost. His star has dimmed.

Just minutes before Alfonso Soriano had vaporized a lackluster knuckleball in the eighth inning to lift the Yankees to a lead they would not relinquish.

Dickey finished the inning. His march off the field was slow and mournful. He lagged his fellow Blue Jays. The emotions of the moment capsulated both the helplessness of this season and the length of his journey.

"There was a time in my career where last night’s outing would be celebrated" Dickey said Thursday morning. "Like ‘Hey Yankee Stadium a complete game!’ And now it’s something that I’m sad about. That’s how far the expectations have come."

His life has changed so much since those early years with the Rangers toiling away on a trick pitch to save his career. Dickey (9-12 4.49 ERA) spent the morning in Manhattan at a business meeting. A car service shuttled him through a gridlocked city to the Bronx. He entered a mostly empty visitors’ clubhouse the temporary home for one of the most disappointing teams in baseball.

Dickey considers himself both part of the problem in 2013 and part of the solution down the road. He lamented a spring-time injury an anomalous struggle with home runs and the transitional difficulty of moving to the American League.