"No psychology degree is needed to know that January is — unofficially but undeniably — Dolfan Depression Month. If only there were a pill for that. When your team last won a playoff game 11 seasons ago and last won a Super Bowl an ever-dreamlike 38 years ago, the annual NFL postseason is a time for consternation and funk — not George Clinton's funk, but the bad kind.

Dolphins fans in January are like recovering alcoholics in the hurly-burly of Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras. It's the Big Tease-y. Party all around but we can only watch."