Lance Armstrong, Alex Rodriguez, Nick Calathes.

Which name doesn't belong?

The obvious answer is Calathes, and not just because the other two are world-famous drug cheats. But Calathes, a guard with the Memphis Grizzlies, has now been lumped into the disreputable pile of performance-enhancing athletes.

The NBA suspended Calathes last Friday after he tested positive for a banned substance. Since Calathes is a Lake Howell High legend, I'd like to say he's innocent.

Sadly, he's not.

That doesn't mean Calathes isn't getting a semi-raw deal. He essentially tested positive for being a guy.

By that, I mean he's going bald and doesn't like it. So he took Rogaine or minoxidil or some sort of baldness treatment. It contained tamoxifen, a prescription drug normally used to treat breast cancer. It is one of approximately 140 items on the NBA's banned list.

For privacy reasons, nobody has publicly said Calathes' "medical issue" is baldness. But all you have to do is listen to the whispers and take a look at him.

"He's going bald at 24," one person said. "Nobody wants to do that."

Nobody wants the world to know they're slathering on Rogaine, either. As a member of the Receding Hair Club for Men, I hate to bring it up. But it's worse for Calathes if people think he was trying to cheat the game instead of merely trying to cheat Mother Nature.

"He's not covering anything up. Not Nick, you kidding me?" said Steve Kohn, who coached Lake Howell to a state title in 2007. "He's a model citizen. He doesn't smoke, he doesn't drink, he doesn't party. He's been like that all of his life."

After four years in Europe, Calathes' professional life took an upturn when Memphis signed him before the season. He became a solid backup point guard, averaging 16.5 minutes, 4.9 points and 2.9 assists.

Then right before the playoffs began, boom! The NBA slapped Calathes with a 20-game suspension. I know PEDs are a scourge, but Kermit Washington got only 26 games when he destroyed Rudy Tomjanovich's face and career in 1977.