"Dear Greg Anderson:

Talk. Please.

Consider this to be a polite request from someone who has followed the Barry Bonds case from the start, from a guy who simply wants it to finally be over, with a real conclusion instead of what we're likely to get -- a verdict with the jury making a guess instead of really knowing, whether the verdict is guilty or not guilty.

Mr. Anderson, we need you on the witness stand.

By now, most people know your name and your story. You were Bonds' personal trainer. You were with him through his great home run seasons with the Giants. You were allowed to hang around the clubhouse, even though you didn't work for the team, simply because Bonds demanded that you be there as one of his many manservants.

A portion of your feudal duties, according to government investigators, included providing Bonds with steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs. Other Giants players admit that you did this for them and they knew what they were taking. Bonds says that you gave him stuff, but he had no idea what it was.

And that is why, starting Monday in federal court, Bonds will be on trial for alleged perjury. Greg, you should be the star witness. You are the only one who can confirm or deny that Bonds is telling the truth. But you won't be there. Because, basically, you are in a neener-neener irritated snit with the government. So, the judge in the case says you'll go to jail for the duration of the trial."