"Neatly aligned above Brad Lidge's locker rest hats from the Threshers, Blue Claws and Reading Phillies.

They remind him of how far he's come.

Each hat represents a step in Lidge's rehab from a partially torn rotator cuff that finally ended when he was activated Friday.

Only it didn't seem real to him until he took the mound Monday for the first time this season.

"It was amazing to get back out there," Lidge said. "When you're back, you want to get out there as fast as possible. Get those butterflies out of the way. Fans were amazing, and I felt great. A little jumpy, a little jittery, some good butterflies. I almost felt, in some aspects, that the butterflies I had were like my big league debut. It wasn't quite there, but it was close."

The same could be said for Lidge's fastball. Of the 11 pitches he threw in his 1-2-3 inning (a strikeout and two groundouts), nine were sliders, partly because that's what catcher Carlos Ruiz was calling for and partly because Lidge's fastball isn't all the way back yet. He hit 90 mph, but expects that with adrenaline and a little more time, he'll add a couple of ticks to it.

He's also certain he's healthy, something he hasn't been able to say for a long time. He's not feeling any discomfort in his shoulder and isn't having to alter his mechanics to compensate for pain.

One thing he isn't so sure about is his role. He could come on in the middle innings. He could find himself setting up one night. He might close out a game if Ryan Madson has been used several days in a row and/or if Antonio Bastardo isn't available.

"I'd like to pitch in all close games whenever I can. I love the feeling when it's a close game. That's when I'm at my best," Lidge said. "It's kind of tricky in my mind to set myself up to do something of any exact role just because I don't know what Charlie is going to want me to do, and I want to be available for him as much as possible.

"I really hope that I can throw a ton of games in these last couple months. That's my big goal — not what role I'm in — because some nights I could be throwing in a one-run game, some nights in the seventh or ninth inning. Whatever it is, I just want Charlie to know that he can depend on me, that I'm there and I'm healthy.""