Expected Conference Ranking: 12th

Best Move of the Offseason: Remember Rob Hennigan’s whiteboard?

Look at all of the bad players on that board. If you Voltron’d up that board you might not win the Sun Belt Conference. The Lakers would trade Luol Deng for cholera right now and Hennigan still put him on the board.

Welp, none of these players are currently members of the Orlando Magic. No Chandler Parsons. No Evan Turner. And no big-money hybrids whatsoever. It says quite a bit about the state of affairs in Orlando that this needs to be noted and celebrated despite the fact that Hennigan is no longer the GM. It’s like giving a dog a treat for not stealing your identity. The bar is so damn low.

Worst Move of the Offseason: We get one of these every year, and more often than not, it’s Orlando that does it. One team always looks at the best prospect on the board, says, “we don’t need X, we have Y!” Except Y is usually an Elfrid Payton, and X is usually a Dennis Smith. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane and enjoy some decisions like this!

2004-05 Atlanta Hawks: “We don’t need Chris Paul, we have Tyronn Lue!”

2005-06 Atlanta Hawks: “We don’t need Brandon Roy, we have Josh Childress!”

2007-08 Charlotte Bobcats: “We don’t need Brook Lopez, we have Emeka Okafor!”

2009-10 Minnesota Timberwolves: “We don’t need DeMarcus Cousins, we have Al Jefferson!”

These are all gems. They aren’t bad draft picks in hindsight. No. They are bad draft picks at the moment they are made. They contradict everyone’s board and are made on the logic of having a player at that position that the team is invested in even if he isn’t good.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but do what the Lakers did. Lonzo Ball was the best player on the board, so they traded D’Angelo Russell to clear the way for him. Take the best player. It’s not that hard. Everyone knows Dennis Smith was the best player available. Everyone knows Elfrid Payton is terrible. Just nut up and take him. Someone will give you a second-round pick for Payton. It’s a sunk cost.

Jonathan Isaac is fine. He’s Anthony Randolph nine times out of 10 and Paul George the 10th time. Dennis Smith is Steve Francis nine times out of 10 and Russell Westbrook the 10th time. Which sounds more appealing?

Their Offense:

Me: The Indiana Pacers have the worst shooting in the NBA.

Frank Vogel: Hold my beer.

The Orlando Magic have prepared a delightful tasting menu of bad shooters for your pleasure. They’ll start you off with a few appetizers of perimeter shooters who are bad, but everyone knew were bad coming out of college and wisely chose to allow Orlando to invest in them so they wouldn’t have to. These are meant to be shared throughout the table.