As Josh Gordon prepares to return to the Cleveland Browns on Tuesday, the wide receiver is choosing to be open about his struggles with addiction.

Gordon, reinstated by the NFL on a conditional basis, is the subject of a new Q&A in GQ. In the piece, he admitted that he used to use marijuana or alcohol before games all the time. In the excerpt, Gordon detailed how he pulled it off.

How would you do this on game days?

We would stay at the team hotel and then players are allowed to go back home, get what they need, and then go to the game. So I’d leave the hotel early morning, go home, eat breakfast, do my little ritual, whatever it may be, some weed, some alcohol, and then go to the game. And then, I’d definitely be partying after every game, win or lose. Every game.