"So there are the Pro Bowl Jets in Hawaii, doing the hula, these Lei Hey Kids — and there isn't any other place they would rather be than Indianapolis, where there are no coconut trees, no glistening blue waters, no mai tais under a warm, golden sunshine ... just the Super Bowl.

The Super Bowl Rex Ryan guaranteed the Jets would be playing in. The Super Bowl Tom Brady and Bill Belichick and the hated Patriots will be playing in instead.

The Super Bowl the Giants will be playing in.

The Super Bowl all of the Jets will be watching a week from tomorrow, though not at Santonio Holmes' house, that much we know."