"This is the night the hammer comes down, you've decided. This is the night to call out the brain lock and the boneheadedness — everything embodied by their starting center's inability to understand that you don't throw down a showboat dunk when you're down six points and about to be 1-12 on the season.

This is the night to eviscerate that kid, just in time for his 24th birthday on Thursday.

Until you meet that kid's mother."