Last year, I was two days late in writing about J.J. Watt's birthday, and then the Houston Texans had a painful 2-14 season. Not a conincidence, and not a mistake I'll make again, thank you very much.

The only thing that stinks about birthdays is that you're one year closer to turning another year older. It's true. Next year he'll be 26, and then 27, after that 28 and 29, and then.... 30. Oh, man, he's only five years away from being 30! The cosmic machination of time affects even demi-gods like Watt. The magnitude of this on a macro scale is hard to comprehend, so I'll stop this post before I have an existential meltdown.