"It's just not fair. In Pittsburgh over the weekend, the Red Sox were forced to keep David Ortiz, their $12?million a year designated hitter, on the bench, leaving them with just five players who make $10?million or more in the starting lineup.

There are grave injustices in this world, and then there is this: Ortiz had just three plate appearances in the three-game series at PNC Park. He went 0-for-2 with a walk. The Sox lost 2-of-3 to the Pirates. They have lost four of their last six interleague games and 6-of-12 this season, and if you're sitting in Boston this morning, that can mean only one thing:

It's that damn interleague play! It's just not fair!

"Interleague play is an advantage to the National League teams," said Kevin Youkilis, who went 1-for-8 in Pittsburgh. "We build our team around the designated hitter. For us, we're at a disadvantage. A lot."

You hear that? The Red Sox are at a disadvantage against the bleeping Pittsburgh Pirates because Big Papi doesn't get five at-bats a game. And it's not just a little disadvantage.

It's a lot.

Youkilis' gripe would be pathetic if it weren't so upside down and arse backward. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the San Diego Padres were in Boston for three games last week. Ortiz started all three games as the Red Sox DH. The Padres DH? That was the immortal Jesus Guzman, a backup shortstop who has one home run and three RBI in his career.

So the Sox get arguably the greatest DH in the history of DHs. And the Padres get Jesus Guzman. I forget now: Was that fair, Youk? Because it sure sounds like the playing field was tilted toward your Boston Red Sox. It usually is in these interleague games.

The Sox are 33 games over .500 (146-113) since commissioner Bud (Blind Squirrel) Selig did one thing right and introduced interleague play in 1997. They're usually quite successful against their NL opponents because they're usually the better team. And they're usually the better team because they spend more money. And not a little more money. A lot.

The Sox signed two players, Adrian Gonzalez and Carl Crawford, to seven-year contracts. The total tab for the two will be almost $300?million. Together they will average about $44?million a year."