"Kevin Bieksa is the Vancouver Canucks' king of quips and, from his throne, he authored one of the best lines last season when asked to describe the on-ice demeanour of rookie defenceman Chris Tanev.

"I don't want to use the same joke over and over but he could have played with a cigarette in his mouth," winked Bieksa.

Well, not quite. Tanev, you see, is a non-smoker. Can't stand cigarettes. And even if he did smoke, he couldn't imagine how he'd light up on the bench and puff away wearing those bulky hockey gloves. Then what would he do with the ashes? Tap them over the boards after an icing call?"