We don't really know what to make of this, but a tipster just sent along a motion for a restraining order that a woman named Samantha Schacher recently filed against Johnny Manziel in Florida. The motion asks for $25 million in damages, and contains lines like: "On Christmas Eve, 2013, Johnny Manziel sent me a Instagram photo of himself naked to me Facebook with Manziel putting a hotdog bun between his penis, smiling, calling me 'Ho, Ho, Ho...'" So, yeah.

Here are some other highlights:

Manziel told me if I don't want him because his penis is small, when he gets drafted by the NFL he will get a penis enlargement and he'll be Long John Silvers.

Johnny Manziel refers to his penis as his Vienna Sausage and told me good things come from small packages.

Johnny Manziel said he Skyes [sic] with Judereon Clowney [sic] in South Carolina, and Clowney sent Manziel a Pic of is penis which was 9 inches, and Manziel showed it to me on Skype and asked me if I could handle that monster.

Manziel sent me a homemade video of himself at Walt Disney World on "It's a Small World" ride in the Magic Kingdom, and while the song is on, he puts the camera down and unbuttons his pants, pulls his penis out and jingles his penis to the music.

I mean, it just goes on and on like that. You can—and absolutely should!—read the whole thing for yourself below. Now, the really weird thing about this is that Samantha Schacher is a CNN contributor and a co-host on Dr. Drew's show, and the address on the complaint is CNN's Atlanta headquarters. Most likely, someone filed this bogus lawsuit under her name as some kind of prank, but we've reached out to Schacher for comment anyway.