I've made no secret in the fact that I am not a huge Keith Olbermann fan, but forget about Rob Manfred and give Olbermann the job based on his list of changes to the game in this awesome video.
Here is a list of "Commissioner Olbermann's" changes to the game:
1. Unsold tickets 50 cents after 2nd inning providing adult brings at least one child.
2. World Series games start at 1, 4, or 630 ET.
3. Canceling overseas openers, allocating those funds to reviving baseball in inner cities instead.
4. PED Use Penalties – 1st Offense: 2 years, fine of previous season’s pay. Repeat: Five years. 3rd offense: Lifetime ban.
5. Pete Rose reinstated, appointed Deputy Commissioner. Joe Jackson, Weaver, all Black Sox (except Gandil) + Jim Devlin pardoned
6. Armando Galarraga credited with perfect game.
7. Interleague Play eliminated, league president offices reestablished. Bill White returns as NL President; Chrissy Teigen new AL President.
8. All-Star Game suspended, merges with HR Derby
9. Umpire recruitment/training/salaries upped by $10m/year; Umps must resume wearing ties.
10. Mandatory pre-game infield & batting practice.
11. Chewing tobacco in dugout or on field forbidden.
12. No money or recognition given to any league using metal bats.
13. Teams limited to 1 Camo Uni Day per year. Saved money goes towards getting jobs in baseball for actual veterans returning home.
14. Commissioner in charge of HOF. Bob Costas, John Thorn and Olbermann get to name 1 HOF’er/year.
15. Gil Hodges and Buck O’Neil immediately elected to HOF.
16. HOF will move to actual birthplace of baseball: Hastings-On-Hudson, New York.
17. Pitch-within-20 seconds rule to be enforced.
18. Hitters may not leave Batter’s Box.
19. Catchers get one 30-second visit to mound per inning. None for coaches, managers.
20. Violations of pitch, box, visit rules punished by prison terms of not less than 45 days.
21. DH is eliminated.
22. In return for elimination of DH, Union gets free agency and arbitration 1/2 year earlier.
23. Expansion to 28-man rosters(3 scratches)
24. September roster expansion ends.
25. Plate Collision rule eliminated; committee to write new one.
26. MLB logo changed from anonymous batter to picture of Mike Trout signing a baseball for a kid.
27. Vin Scully calls all World Series games until further notice.
Some highlights from this list (in my mind) are: further and aggressively selling the game to kids, stiffer PED penalties, commissioner pardons (including Pete Rose and Joe Jackson), elimination of the DH, Chrissy Teigen announced as the new A.L. President, expansion to 28-man rosters, elimination of the new ban on home plate collisions, and Vin Scully calling all World Series games (presumably by himself).
A couple of other suggestions for the new commish:
- Give the managers challenge flags that they must throw on to the field, from the dugout, at any point prior to the next pitch being thrown following the play in question.
- Automated strike zone should be put into effect immediately. The home plate umpire should now become a base ump just like the other three "boys in blue" on the field and K-Zone technology will take over the balls and strikes.
- Reconsider your All-Star Game suspension. Keep it because it's great for selling the game to kids but get rid of the stupid World Series home field advantage angle to the game. Home field advantage in the World Series should be awarded to the team with the best W/L record. Also in regards to the All-Star Game...the league should consider mixing in neutral site All-Star Games (perhaps once every five years) to cities where there is no MLB franchise in order to help grow the game (not internationally, however).
These are just a few of my thoughts. Long live Commissioner Olbermann...call me when you decide which position you would like me to hold on your staff.
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